White Lives Black Lives

Recent events have thrown American society into turmoil. Two more murders of black men by white policemen. Five more murdered cops and seven wounded police by one angry, heavily armed black man. Nationwide protests against the violence against blacks evolve into protests against the attacks on the police.

The backdrop behind all of it a riotously angry populace armed to the teeth and looking for scapegoats.

Fact: until Black Lives Matter it is impossible for All Lives to Matter.

Fact: even the most empathetic, well-intentioned "Caucasians" cannot possibly live the reality of Black life in America.

Fact: human beings of good will have been striving to "fix" racism in America since this nation's founding.

Fact: the battle is long, hard and bloody but if we are to survive as the nation we love, we must never cease the striving.

I refuse to wallow in guilt for my white skin. It makes me better than no one but neither does it, of itself, make me less. This is the role to which I was born and the one with which I must face the world and live my life.

I will save my guilt for my lapses in humanity, kindness and understanding of others - be they the same as I or different.

I will save my guilt for my lack of commitment to a free, equal society.

And I will strive to reject hatred and embrace love if I can, but at the minimum embrace understanding.

I will not pray to a god in whom I do not believe (though the temptation is strong). I will work in the best way in which I am capable for unity, not division; for friendship not hate; for understanding, not fear.

July 9, 2016

All Hail Donald Trump

The term fascist has been indiscriminately tossed around the American political theatre for decades. Democrats scream the term as Republicans. Republicans scream it right back at Democrats. Overuse of the term has done nothing to elevate public discourse and much to corrupt it. I confess to throwing the term around a time or two myself during the early years of this century.

Like the shepherd boy who cried wolf once too often, I fear we have finally summoned up the monster. Each passing media cycle, Donald Trump provides more evidence he is the real deal. The more the crowds cheer him, the further into the swamp he leads them.

I doubt the Donald sees himself as anything more than a gifted leader and promoter. No matter. The stage is set and he leaps into its center.

If They are not Extremists, WTF are They?

Conservative pundits are taking umbrage at labeling as extremists persons who attack and murder at Planned Parenthood facilities. You know - the folks who for decades now have been bombing clinics, shooting doctors who perform the legal procedure of abortion and harassing  persons attempting to enter the facilities for medical services.

These are the same Radical Conservatives that scream Muslims are bringing Sharia Law to America. The sames American stalwarts who would close our borders to the Middle Eastern and North African refugees fleeing war, famine and drought. The very same patriots that are once again pounding the drums for war to which they will happily send your sons and daughters. You know. The warm hearted souls who love our veterans as long as they are serving and dying overseas, but who refuse to budget services for them when they return crippled in body and soul. Yeah, those sweethearts.

I usually don't call them extremists. I prefer the terms homegrown American terrorists, Radical Christians, Radical Conservatives. I find it difficult to discern differences between them and the Radical Jihadists and Radical Islam they abhor.

Not Exactly Home for the Holidays - Letter to a Friend

My Mom is showing marked improvement since we asked Charlotte to come twice a week. Charlotte has a deep, caring rapport with Mom - very nurturing in a way I have never been. We still have our weekly outings to a restaurant - usually Carrabbas, which has great atmosphere and service.

We are all going over to the Assisted Living Facility at Summerfield to join Mom for Thanksgiving because wheelchair transport on the holiday seemed problematic. I hope it works out OK, but am considering trying to rent a wheelchair capable van for Christmas. Once you give up these things, life changes forever. My heart turns to all the Thanksgivings when Mom and I put the extra leaves in the table; put on the special, embroidered tablecloth; and then covered it with plastic; set the table with the best China, silver and glassware. We always did this the night before and loved the pristine setting that promised culinary delights on the morrow.

We always went to Kozel's the night before (going back to all the years my Dad was with us too and, of course, the girls) and then the big day arrived and Lilo and Werner arrived from New York. Everything was bustle and preparation and interruptions and Werner ALWAYS needed a snack as soon as he arrived and Lilo and my parents brought pies and cookies and paper mache Pilgrims and bagels and Lilo's special green cream cheese and chaos and unexpected guests and it all worked out somehow and Bill wore the biggest shit-eating grin because there was nothing except fishing he liked half as much as hosting Thanksgiving Dinner.

Over the years the rituals have changed as life insisted upon happening. Turns out this year marks another change none of us are really prepared for. We will just have to see how it works out. And hope that the ghosts of those who have gone before us rest easy. Mom is the only parent still with us.

Keep Your Goddamn Huddled Masses Off My Shores

When Hitler was marching across Europe, fleeing Jews were denied refuge by many countries, including the United States, forcing numbers of them to return to Germany where they were sent to the death camps.

When Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, the United States ordered American citizens of Japanese descent to be rounded up, their property confiscated and entire families relocated to isolated internment camps quickly thrown together for that purpose.

When members of a criminal group of radical Islamists took down the World Trade Center, the United States waged war on and dismantled any semblance of order in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Shock, fear and anger are natural human responses to aggression and terror. If they are not tempered by reason, bad situations tend to be made worse. We do not want to open our doors to Middle Eastern and North African refugees. Neither does Western Europe, although those countries appear less able to hold back the tide (especially since we took out Gaddafi who was holding a buffer zone against the African component).

If we do not want to be inundated by a tide of migration such as the world has periodically seen since human beings first went on the move, perhaps we should be more careful to avoid or prevent the political and economic destabilization of huge swathes of our planet. The strongest drive of any living thing is survival. We have it - it is why we want to close our doors to strangers. It is also why those strangers will sooner or later be pressing at our gates.

Bravado and bigotry exacerbate the problem.

Can we have some serious brainstorming here, please.

Marriage Equality - June 26, 2015

I heard the news on NPR while driving to see Kay. My eyes welled up with tears and I thought of you.

I remembered that for more than 40 years you loved your friend faithfully and that the family who never met him did not approve.

I remembered how you spent more and more time with him as the cancer appeared and gradually devoured him. I remember your tremendous sadness when he had gone. And you too succumbed to cancer in a long, painful journey into death.

You lived a life of challenges and struggle with dignity and perseverance. You were kind. You were sensitive most of all to the beauty in the world.

It is entirely possible if you still lived, you would condemn today's decision. I hope not, but I suspect you would. And yet, I support this cause because of you and the example you lived. RIP. I hope wherever you are now, the rainbow prevails and you are free to love whomever you choose.

Mean Girls

I dip into the Twitter-verse a few of times a week. A few sites I tend to follow, like The Talk, Food Network, HDTV and several of their hosts or programs. But I am often tempted to abandon the field altogether when an epidemic of mean-spirited vitriol erupts.

Heaven knows I can be as volatile and short-tempered as anyone. But the shriveling spitefulness of some of the threads on Twitter sickens me. Why? Why verbally flay someone, not just for their opinions but for their appearance, education, sexual proclivities, ethnicity? Why eviscerate everyone who is the slightest bit different? Why shame those whose bodies do not meet your arbitrary standards?

I confess. Most people walking the planet earth do not measure up to my unspoken "standards". I don't like boring. I don't like bigots. I detest the obnoxiously persistently stupid. I expect my friends to have robust senses of humor. I like people willing to leave me alone until I am in the mood to socialize. But that does not mean I am ready to consign all others to the bottomless pit of anonymous character assassination. I just try to gently break away (except when I am angry and let them have it with both (figurative) barrels).

As a misfit during the four most socially miserable years of my life (high school), I was well acquainted with mean girls. Fortunately most of them "married young and then retired". But some of them, and their male counterparts, have found a place on Twitter making the experience occasionally quite unpleasant for the rest of us.

I abandoned Reddit several years ago because the unforgiving, consistently condemning level of coment bore no resemblance to constructive discourse. Really trying to stick it out with Twitter but there is a limit to the bull-shit I can stomach.